


Risks

by nanuk_dain



Series: Impossible Relationships [7]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-18
Updated: 2011-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:26:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/295843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray decides he needs to take some risks to get what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risks

  
[   
](http://pics.livejournal.com/nanuk_dain/pic/000be3gq)   


 

Five days.

It had been _five days_ , and Ray was close to exploding. Five days since they'd left the power plant. Five days of crappy neighbourhoods, bombs in gardens and Brad being all heroic.

Five days since he'd last touched Tim in _any_ way.

It had been so busy that there hadn't been any opportunity to get Tim alone. None at all. They'd barely said ten words to each other, and every time they'd talked there had been some of the guys around, so it had been strictly professional. Like Tim handing out vitamin pills and ordering them to take them. Ray hadn't been able to keep himself from glancing at the exact spot where he knew his bite mark graced Tim's skin. Tim had caught his gaze and his mouth had twitched in a suppressed smirk that did things to Ray's stomach that he would _never_ admit aloud. It had taken all his discipline not to jump Tim right there and then.

Ray felt like he was back in puberty when he'd first discovered the advantages of girls. He'd been so horny all the time that just the sight of a pair of long legs or a nice cleavage had made him want to jump somebody – or even some _thing_. He would have humped a tree, so desperate had he been. He'd thought he'd left that stage behind some years ago, but obviously he'd been wrong. If he just glimpsed a part of Tim – _any part_ – he felt that pubertal horniness wash over him like a tsunami. And there weren't even that many trees around in this damn city.

For the first time in his life, Ray understood what it meant to go crazy with the need to feel a certain person. He'd never experienced that before, not even in his horniest times. He'd always just found some girl to get rid of the urge. But this _thing_ couldn't be satisfied by just anybody, only Tim would be able to ease the need. And wasn't that just _pathetic_. He'd turned into a lovey-dovey chick. He would have cared, had the desire to jump Tim not taken over his mind almost to its entirety. Because hey, no touching didn't mean no looking. The only problem was that watching Tim made the urge to touch even stronger.

Once they were settled in the former soccer stadium, Ray felt his restlessness grow even stronger. He was almost grateful enough to sink down on his knees and bow when he discovered that the Iraqis at the fence sold real strong alcohol – he wasn't quite convinced it was really gin, but he didn't care anyway. Booze was booze, and it was going to help him to take off the edge. Dull the misery of this city, dull the desire to touch Tim. That was everything that mattered.

Ray felt detached from the other guys when they stood together around the Humvee, drinking the clear stuff that might have been gin, talking about this stupid war. Ray kept quiet, drank and listened. Somehow he felt as if he wasn't really with them, as if his mind was in another world and he was nothing but an observer. He knew he was having mood swings – and was maybe _slightly_ depressed – due to the sudden lack of Ripped Fuel that his body had become accustomed to over the past few weeks, but knowing that didn't change how he felt.

He only wished it was over. He had enough of all this crap and was secretly relieved that they were going to leave Baghdad tomorrow. He wanted out of this city that pulled him down more and more with every day that passed, with every neighbourhood they crossed, with every time they had to leave people without actually changing a thing. He wanted to get away from the pain and the despair, away from these freaking Humvees that were nothing more than camouflage-painted Tupperware containers on wheels, away form the other Marines and from stupid, incompetent command. He wanted to sleep in a real bed – entirely naked if he felt like it – without hearing twenty guys snore nearby. He wanted to wake up next to Tim and see him smile first thing in the morning.

Ray shook his head at the thought. He needed more booze. Pity that the Ripped Fuel was all gone.

Now that they were in a place with actual rooms _with doors_ , though, Ray couldn't help thinking about the new possibilities that opened up. He pondered on finding a moment with Tim somewhere in the labyrinth of the hallways, away from the guys, away from the world. Maybe the alcohol in his bloodstream made him a bit bolder than he usually would have been given their situation. Combined with the desire that had grown to almost unbearable levels in the past few days, he was maybe a tad single-minded, Ray admitted to himself. Still, the idea of touching Tim, of feeling his hands, his mouth, of hearing his voice drop an octave, was enough to make him forget all risks.

The opportunity came when the night had fallen and most of the guys had settled down for some hours of sleep. Ray walked past Humvee five where Tim lay on the ground, his eyes closed as he, too, was trying to find a few hours of rest. Ray nudged his foot while walking past him, knowing Tim would feel it, knowing Tim would recognise him, _hoping_ Tim would understand to follow him. Ray didn't turn to look, he knew he couldn't risk being that obvious, and kept walking at a casual pace towards the central hallway of the stadium. There were a number of corridors and rooms leading away from it. Ray turned towards the right, making sure to leave a trail in the dirt on the ground, and took position in the second doorway to the left. He waited in absolute silence, listening to the mortar fire and the gunshots outside the stadium, always trying to pick up the sound of Tim's boots on the ground.

It took about five minutes until he heard almost silent footsteps. Ray was well aware Tim made the faint sound on purpose to allow Ray to locate him, and Ray smirked. Oh yes, Tim was in for a surprise. A pleasant one.

Ray waited in perfect silence until Tim had almost reached the doorway, then he grabbed him and pulled him inside the former office that now lay in ruins. Ray didn't care, he'd only made sure this afternoon, when he'd scouted the building, that it was empty and couldn't be looked into from the outside. That it offered a moment of privacy.

Ray pulled Tim close, mouth already open when their lips met. He was desperate, felt overwhelmed by the sheer _need_ , by the shock of arousal that coursed through his entire body now that he finally felt Tim under his lips, under his hands, against his body. Tim stood stiff and unmoving for about one second, then he groaned into Ray's mouth and his hands fisted in Ray's uniform, pulling him even closer. It was frantic and messy, no elegance or finesse.

To Ray, it was perfect. Tim turning liquid against him, touching him wherever he could reach, his breathing irregular and shallow, was the best aphrodisiac Ray had ever experienced. There was just _something_ about Tim losing his cool that turned Ray on _so incredibly much_.

“Just had to feel you.” Ray growled under his breath when he finally let go of Tim's mouth. He would have been embarrassed for actually saying those words aloud, but he felt too good to care.

He expected to be chided for the risk he'd taken, for the stupidity of the action itself, but instead Tim just pressed another kiss on Ray's lips, this one soft and teasing. His moustache scratched lightly over Ray's lips, and Ray shivered at the feeling. “I know what you mean. It was driving me crazy.”

For a moment, Ray was too surprised to say anything, then he chuckled. “Yeah, same here.”

Tim smirked. “I kind of noticed that, Josh.”

Ray felt goosebumps spread all over his body. God, he hadn't even realised how much he'd missed Tim saying his first name. It had only been this one time in the power plant that Tim had had the opportunity to use it because they couldn't risk to show any sudden familiarity that hadn't been there before. They couldn't afford to raise any suspicions. They were both very much aware of that fact, and to Ray, that made every 'Josh' coming from Tim even more precious. His name in Tim's low voice felt like a caress, it made Ray's skin prickle and caused a queasy feeling in his stomach that he vaguely recognised as butterflies. He hadn't experienced that in some time.

Ray closed his eyes with a low groan and used his hand on the nape of Tim's neck to pull him into another kiss, no less greedy than the first one. It wasn't enough, and as long as they were in this shithole of a country, with a whole platoon of Marines surrounding them, that was never going to change. He wanted more than they could ever risk under these circumstances, and he didn't care how gay it was that he wanted Tim butt-naked all for himself, be it in a bed or on a couch or even on a goddamn kitchen table. It didn't really matter where.

Tim returned his passion, his hands wandering over Ray's body, over his neck, his face, through his hair. He kissed Ray so fiercely that Ray found himself pressed with his back against the wall, Tim's hands on his thighs, lifting him off the ground. It was pure instinct to wrap his legs around Tim's waist, and when Tim bucked his hips, the sudden friction made Ray gasp. Holy shit, this position was fantastic! Ray tightened his legs and pushed his groin firmly against Tim's, taking pleasure in the growl it caused deep in Tim's throat. He did it again, rubbing against Tim in mindless pleasure. It was far better than a tree, that much was sure.

Ray couldn't have said how much time had passed when Tim's hands on his thighs tightened, stilling Ray's movements. Tim pulled back, his eyes closed, his breathing heavy. His nose touched Ray's throat, stroked along his jaw in a caress that felt strangely intimate. Ray tightened his hold on Tim's shoulders and focussed on the feeling of Tim's wet, warm breath against his skin.

“I wish it was different, Josh, but this is neither the time nor the place.” Tim said slowly, his voice low and rough, and he sounded as if he hated saying those words.

Ray was silent for a moment, then he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Tim's. “Yeah, I know.”

Tim let out a long breath and turned his head so that his nose touched Ray's in an unexpectedly soft Eskimo kiss. Ray turned in to the caress instinctively, his fingers clenching in the fabric of the uniform under his hands. It took him by surprise how this little touch felt way more intimate than Tim's lips on his own. After a moment, Tim slowly pulled back to look at Ray, his eyes wide and their expression telling Ray what Tim was thinking as clearly as if he'd said it aloud. _I don't want to let go._

Tim took a deep breath, then he loosened his grip on Ray's thighs and let his legs slide back to the ground. He never once broke the gaze. _We're going to continue this._ Ray nodded, as if Tim had actually said those words aloud, and began to straighten his uniform. His pants felt uncomfortably tight, and one glance at Tim told him that he wasn't the only one who was going to suffer from a severe case of blue balls tonight. In a weird way, that was quite reassuring.

Tim had stepped back, had brought some distance between them, and tugged on the hem of his jacket that Ray had pulled up in his passion. He grabbed his M4 before he looked up, his gaze finding Ray's. Tim licked his lips in an unconscious gesture and it seemed to Ray that he was tempted to lean in again, to give Ray a last quick kiss. But Tim knew probably just as well as Ray that it wasn't going to end with one _quick_ kiss, so he took another step back instead, back straight, hands on his M4.

“Later.” Tim said into the almost unnatural quiet of the room. His voice was barely above a whisper, but Ray understood the promise in it effortlessly.

“I'll take your word for that.” Ray replied equally quiet, a tiny smirk on his lips.

Tim nodded, returning the smirk, his gaze focussed on Ray. He hesitated for a split second, then he turned towards the door and left the room, his footsteps entirely silent this time. The door closed behind him with almost no sound, yet to Ray it felt as if it had been slammed shut. All the tension he'd felt growing inside him over the past few days came back full force, and Ray leaned against the wall Tim had pressed him against only minutes ago, seeking the support it offered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself.

Shit, this damn war was _really_ beginning to grate on his nerves.


End file.
